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Words and music by Eve Astrid Andersson (summer 1995)

Sexy Suzy
Verse 1:

Suzy fell asleep one night
after having too much to drink.
She woke up an hour later
and didn't know what to think.

Looking in the mirror
she saw everything had changed.
No flesh, bone, blood, hair,
fingernails remained.

Her reflection showed she had a box
that contained her CPU.
She had a big monitor,
a mouse and keyboard too.

When her boyfriend saw her
he said he did not like it one bit.
Nor did he like it a byte,
a megabyte, or a gig.


Oh, boyfriend, she said,
think what you may.
But pretty soon I know
I'll be hearing you say:


Oh Sexy Suzy,
Let me stroke your keys.

Oh Sexy Suzy,
May I click your mouse button please.

Oh Sexy Suzy,
Your user interface is hot.

Oh Sexy Suzy,
Let me show you the programming skills I've got.

Verse 2:

We'll see about that, her boyfriend said.
Right now let's get some sleep.
Her boyfriend lay down in bed.
Suzy shut down with a beep.

In the morning boyfriend thought
Hey last night was not so bad.
For once she didn't steal the sheets
or push me off the bed.

For breakfast boyfriend had toast,
Suzy had electricity.
Then together they downloaded
Shareware for Suzy.

I'm sorry for doubting you,
this is the most fun I've had in years.
Why have I been wasting time with girls who have
eyes and noses and ears?

Chorus Repeats.


Words and Music: Eve Astrid Andersson
Voice and keyboards: Eve Astrid Andersson
Recording, Editing and Re-Mixing: Aurelius Prochazka

© Eve Astrid Andersson. All rights reserved.

You may duplicate this freely for non-profit purposes, as long as due credit is given. Please ask the author's permission before duplicating for any commercial purposes. Thanks.

A lot of gratitude goes to Aurelius Prochazka for all his work in producing this recording. Thanks to John Green for his drunken words of support during the recording process.

The story behind the song

Late one night in summer 1995 I was sitting at Denny's, writing, and my right hand became very tired. I thought, if I were to train myself to be able to write with my left hand too, I would be much more productive. Then I started thinking of other ways to make myself more productive. I could experiment to find the sleeping schedule, the nutrition, the balance between physical and mental activity, etc. to maximize my ability to do certain kinds of work. I could become like a human computer! [Of course I quickly realized that I wouldn't want to become this human computer. I (like many people) am guilty of overemphasizing the importance of productivity. But what is the point of having the creativity and the emotions of a human if we are going to work like machines? Not that there's a point to life anyway, but we might as well enjoy these unique characteristics.]

Anyway, a few days later when I happened to think up a cute melody, I had "human computers" on my mind. I was in a silly mood, and the words to Sexy Suzy just came to me without having to think about them.

Addendum (2009): I did end up training myself to write with my left hand, and it has made me more productive.

- Eve

Eve Andersson (