The All-New Amazingly Potent
ACME Nerd Suppressant
Now in 12-hr extended relief caplets!

nerdy female with orange shorts, plaid red shirt, and white socks and shoes
  • Is your only companion Saturday night a FORTRAN77 textbook?

  • Do 2nd-hand stores refuse to accept your clothing donations?

  • Do you remember pi but forget your own phone number?

  • Is your pocket protector weighing you down?

   If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then perhaps you are a nerd.

We Can Help!

Witness for yourself the results of this amazing pill. In just seconds you too can go from nerdette to seductress!

Before After
nerdy female with orange shorts and plaid red shirt non-nerdy female with plaid red shirt

ACME Nerd Suppressant has been scientifically proven to temporarily reduce symptoms of nerdiness. In a study conducted on a group of MIT students, it was found that after taking ACME Nerd Suppressant tablets:

Try It Today!

ACME Nerd Suppressant is guaranteed to make you forget how to solve nth-order partial differential equations ... or your money back!

Available Now at Egghead, Fry's, and Campus Bookstores Near You!

WARNING: Use only as directed. The relationship between dosage and sex appeal is nonlinear. Do not take this drug if you are currently taking antihistamines, Retin-A, methamphetamine, or if you are suffering from myopia.

Eve Andersson (