Is your only companion Saturday night a FORTRAN77 textbook? Do 2nd-hand stores refuse to accept your clothing donations? Do you remember pi but forget your own phone number? Is your pocket protector weighing you down?    If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then perhaps you are a nerd.

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Witness for yourself the results of this amazing pill. In just seconds you too can go from nerdette to seductress!

Before	After

ACME Nerd Suppressant has been scientifically proven to temporarily reduce symptoms of nerdiness. In a study conducted on a group of MIT students, it was found that after taking ACME Nerd Suppressant tablets:

• 9 out of 10 MIT students stopped walking into glass doors.

• The number of questions asked by MIT students during lectures went down by 47%.

• 61% of the students at MIT went on their first date.

• 39% went on dates with people they were actually attracted to.

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ACME Nerd Suppressant is guaranteed to make you forget how to solve nth-order partial differential equations ... or your money back!

Available Now at Egghead, Fry's, and Campus Bookstores Near You!

WARNING: Use only as directed. The relationship between dosage and sex appeal is nonlinear. Do not take this drug if you are currently taking antihistamines, Retin-A, methamphetamine, or if you are suffering from myopia.